The Great Freight Debate

This morning, I find myself staring longingly at the freight train that’s passing by and wondering if it’s a more effective means of commuter transportation.

I weigh the pros and cons.

Pro: I can make my long standing goal of becoming a hobo a reality. 

Like the many movies made before me, or during me (I’m a child of the 80’s) I want my freight train catching experience to resemble some coming of age motion picture, complete with a Molly Ringwald parable at the end.

She really should have retired before “Teaching Mrs Tingle.”

After all, just because you enjoy being in school, doesn’t mean you should make a career out of it and stay there.

I realize I’ve done this too.

I continue to judge her, spending the next few minutes reviewing her IMDB filmography. 

At least I didn’t peak in the 80’s.

Or did I? I recall my favourite t-shirt from Kindergarten that read;

“It’s hard to be humble when you’re as great as I am!”

It had stars for emphasis.

I’m certain this kind of clothing would be contraband in today’s elementary school system. 

Jadyn’s aversion to self-confidence and Makayla’s fear of signage would clearly have me suspended in no time.

I consider regressing to SK.

I digress from my regress. 

Back to the Freight debate, I have visions of catching the train with 3 of my closest friends. 

The unhealthy one is cutting it really close to becoming a pancake before the train goes over the bridge or into a mountain. 

By some act of God, I make it. 

I swear and cough the entire time, but without me, there wouldn’t be much of a storyline.

I awake from my stupor.

Of course this is all fictitious. 

I don’t run for anything.

And I don’t have any friends.

Moving onward,  I just googled “frieght train” and an article on “How to hop a freight train” has popped up.

I’m so amused.

Another jackass has given this some thought. 

I enjoy this comment best; 

“Don’t forget to bring your patience. Freight-hopping involves as much walking and waiting as actual riding”

Is hopping a train an actual thing? I’m more intrigued than ever.

I continue with my list of pros:

It would build up my patience.

It would build up my endurance.

I could still blog on that train.

Freight train catching smells like a hipster activity, so by default, I’d gain a new audience. 

Even Vegans would read my blog! 

Maybe I should stop saying how in a zombie apocalypse, I’d eat them first.

Perhaps the best pro of all is the reduced amount of people on my freight train. 

I smile for 1.2 seconds then take it back.

That’s also the only con.

The people on my commuter train are catalysts for my blog posts.

The sketchy people riding the freight train are likely catalysts for my death. 

I realize I’m not quite done yet.

Talk about perspective.



2 thoughts on “The Great Freight Debate

Add yours

  1. You have so many amusing thoughts that you share. I still think you should be doing this for a magazine or newspaper!!! Brilliant. I have said this before!!!LOL

    Liked by 1 person

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