This morning, I find myself more energetic than usual.
The extra pep in my step has me bopping all over the place. As my I make my way to the kitchen, I find the following diagram:
Gigi, my 9 year old niece, has left another gem for me to enjoy.
A Gigi drawing is truly a gift that presents itself in a slower, revealing sense.
At first, a quick glance of her work could make one think “oh, that’s cute!” and not give any thought to the deep, profound messaging Gigi was trying to convey.
“It’s just a drawing!” some lesser people may have implied, but these plebeians are both unequipped and misinformed.
Especially her mother, who nonchalantly implies it’s “just a drawing” armed with a limited knowledge base of her child’s character for 9 years and an educational background as an Early Childhood Educator.
Armed with extensive experience (I once took a remedial developmental psychology course back in 2003) I decide this 3 hour seminar makes me completely qualified to provide a duly critical analysis of the picture.
Having watched both Frasier and Dr. Phil, I’m also no stranger to therapy.
Here, we have our protagonist;
Something about her round head makes me think of cheese, and something about her hairstyle implies she’s somehow processed.
I’m suddenly reminded of a dairy poster I walked past, but that bears no relevance to her name.
Cute. Scary. Cute.
Clearly, Velveeta suffers from poor penmanship. And a lack of self-esteem.
She also suffers from Chaetophobia.
A fear of hair.
If I had her hair, I’d be scared too.
Having all that weight on one side would make my eyes roll back.
She has a big head.
I’m both conceited and arrogant.
She thinks of herself as cute.
I’m told regularly that I’m cute.
Sometimes she thinks of herself as scary.
I’ve been told by therapists, social workers and parole officers that sometimes, I can be scary.
She has a button nose.
I have a button nose.
The part of herself she’s most comfortable with appears to be her entire left side.
The part I’m most comfortable with eating appears to be her left side.
After all, if I wanted to eat “Vel” I feel this part would be the least compromising to her integrity.
I think her fear stems from several things.
First, she appears to be stuck in a white space reminiscent of a Divergent fear landscape.
These gaping holes could reflect some unresolved anger issues of the artist, but that seems a bit far fetched.
More realistically, Velveeta is clearly terrified of the little man with the counter clockwise face.
Let this be a warning to every child.
Never trust a short man with no lips, torso, hands and feet.
And try your best not to leave out your drawings.