This morning, I see something more disgusting than anything I’ve witnessed yesterday.
I’m annoyed with its presence.
It gives me chills.
It pretends to be unassuming, but there it is, making its debut.
On my windshield.
I mean Brr.
I don’t even know anymore.
There he is. Taunting me.
Yes, I said he.
Frost is dumb and unnecessary–clearly the work of a man.
Hey, I didn’t make this stuff up.
Even society calls him Trump.
I consider telling the frost to go away, then I realize I should refrain from shouting at things that annoy me.
I make a reference that today I will become an elective mute.
This year, I find myself apathetic towards frost’s implications.
For me, it’s always signified the unofficial start to the Christmas season.
I love everything about Christmas.
Or maybe I did.
A new normal has me questioning all the things I used to enjoy.
Christmas is a big deal.
One cannot sweep the memories and magnitude of this holiday under a proverbial rug.
Or maybe it’s a shroud.
Wow, the cup is half empty today!
Nah, that’s not true. It was a Christmas mug and I shattered it against the wall.
We don’t waste Scotch in my household.
As I sit here, waiting for the train to actually move, I feel now would be an appropriate point to answer questions from my legions of blog readers.
Kind of like a behind the scenes from Lidz On The GO.
Some of these I’ve actually been asked.
Some of these I’ve made up.
Either way, I will answer truthfully.
Lidia, where do you come up with these amazing blog ideas?
Lidia, thanks for asking. I find inspiration from everywhere. Usually from stupid signage, a song that means something to me or how I’m feeling.
I’m pretty much a modern day renaissance woman.
I was once described as a young Trudeau.
Not the new one, although he’s hot.
Were you ever a real writer?
Yes! I have 3 novels published by my pen name, Y. Ra Moronn.
Do you really have a niece, or are those your drawings?
I can sing, I can dance, after all, this ain’t France!
I can’t draw. I do have a niece and I love her and all my nieces and nephews to the moon and back.
They draw. She literally leaves things out for me. My room is infested with kiddie art, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Do you have kids of your own?
Oh God no! I hate babies and children.
Q: On a scale of 1-10, how vain are you?
Do you really have to ask?!?! 12! Which, by the way, is the best number EVER!! Super Robbie Alomar fan right here.
Q: How would you rate your ego?
I think it’s awesome.
Q: What’s with all the selfies?
Q: Do your coworkers actually read your blog?
Four of my coworkers have “followed” my blog. One of them actually reads it. She references all the funniest points so she can stay.
Other coworkers will tell you what a real joy we are to work with, as we are loud and make obscure 80’s references and share inside jokes really loudly the entire day!
From my coworker “following,” there’s two that try to read my blog. One teaches 86 classes and the other has the equivalent of 3 full-time jobs. They can stay as well.
My work bestie is retiring so what else does she have better to do?!!!
Two more colleagues allegedly don’t have time to read it. I have heard they review on occasion once Netflix is down.
Two more have described my blog as cute.
One of them happens to be my boss.
She’s refreshingly insightful.
Q: What’s your take on love and marriage?
It’s an institute I can’t disparage.
Q: Does Steve really exist?
Yes he does! Or…I’m not even sure. In the past few months, I’ve established a precedent of having meaningful conversations with signage and pigeons. You be the judge of that.
Q: How do you really feel about commuting?
At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
Yes. But I love it. It’s my relaxing time.
Q: What’s the deal with you and tacos?
I have many happy memories eating tacos with people I enjoy. They are easy to make, customizable and fun.
Besides, who hates tacos?
Said no Juan ever.
Actually, my dad doesn’t like tacos.
It’s his only tragic flaw.
But he loves beer and hot dogs.
He can stay too.