Take Your Pokemon To Work Day

This morning, as I board my big green chariot, I notice that the role of Steve has been replaced by Barry White.

At least that’s what he sounds like.

I don’t want to ruin the likely ridiculous assumption I have of this person’s appearance, so it’s best not to look as I walk past.

Besides, that’s a whole other level of talking and friendly banter that I’m not comfortable with.

Asking trivial questions, pretending to care…please view my previous post, “The Art of Small Talk” for more of my thoughts on the topic.

I smirk.

I’ve reach the asinine point where I have enough old blogging material to regurgitate it in newer posts.

3 years of formalized study and I finally know what it feels like to be a true Journalist.

I mull this over.

I decide to avoid the signature head nod to Barry, because having no friends is enough.

As I take my usual perch, I realize there’s no stupid signage, no intelligent reflections, not even a song in my head.

About to admit failure, that my blog peaked with “The tragic backstory of vandals” (you really should be writing these down), I look for inspiration.

I’d hate to let down my 3 readers.

I find my inspiration through this guy.

Meet Squirtle.


I wanted to bring him to work yesterday, to lie and pretend that he was my therapy stuffie, but then the Whos down in Whoville would end up giving me indigestion.

You know that feeling you get when people are kind to you?

I’ve been told that most people with souls call that “care.”

Nah. That can’t be right.

Talk about delusion.

I digress.

I found Squirtle the Pokemon Stuffie in my bag on the way to work.

My Pokemon loving nephew Gianni claims he didn’t put him in there, so I decided to play along.

Squirtle became my assistant for the day.

Sorry Rebecca.

Here’s what a typical day entails.


The first thing I did was put Squirtle to work. He claims to not speak English but that’s an amateur excuse.

It’s important to note Squirtle is 12.5% female.

That gives him a capacity to learn. But he seemed kinda lazy, making the male hormone most prevalent.


I had Squirtle take detailed notes. I even dictated my thoughts for some soon to be published memoirs. It was challenging at first, but he got the gist of it.

I’m not sure what language he’s written in. I don’t speak pokemonese. Maybe Gianni does.


Nice try, Squirtle. You’ll never replace me…you can barely stand up on your own two feet! Paws? Arms? Limbs? Whatever.


Squirtle took credit for fixing the photocopier. It caused quite the stir the day before, when our team was forced to go paperless and mistakenly saved 13 000 trees. Good job.

My little Junior Job Developer!


One cannot work in an office without having some type of stimulant. Some of us use caffeine. Others use things that are stronger.

I didn’t appreciate him using my sweetener (yes, when you do the majority of the pilfering it’s yours) but I felt charitable.


Squirtle has big long term plans. Once he gets a full-time “real” job, he’d like to vacation to this place, the cold land with giant craters and dirty snow.

It’s my calendar’s November but it really should be March.

Hmm.


One of my favourite hobbies at work is to go to the downstairs pharmacy and check out my blood pressure.

Squirtle’s didn’t register. He didn’t seemed concerned. Oh well, lunch time!


Any slice is $3.99! Anytime! Talk about value.


All job shadowing participants must take several mandatory selfies. This was his best one. He needs to work on his angles.


There’s no such thing as a free lunch, so I did the dutiful thing and made him take care of it.


I didn’t realize Squirtles were carnivores until this moment.


Back to work and time to make some calls. I had him book my next cruise, a couple of job interviews and massage appointments. Apparently the service providers understand Pokemonese.


I didn’t want to be that Supervisor, the one who frowns upon socialization in the office, so I let Squirtle talk to some colleagues.

He said it was the best 40 seconds of the day, and took a real liking to the orange monster on the right.

I wonder why.

It was the best part of the day until I surprised him with this walk:



Being a water type Pokemon, I knew Squirtle would appreciate the lake.

As a fellow water bearer Aquarius, I enjoy these places too.

Before we left for the day, Squirtle presented me with this token of his appreciation:

You’re very welcome.

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One thought on “Take Your Pokemon To Work Day

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  1. Your imagination runs wild!! I even believe the whole thing for a moment till I realize this is an inanimate object. You have great talent!! Have a great day! I look forward to another visitor at he work place.

    Like

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