This morning, as I board my big green chariot, I notice Steve is announcing things very, very slowly.
I hope he spent the night partying on the rambunctious 6:18.
I don’t see him today. I hear him.
“Gooooood morning, everyone.”
“This…is your 6:18…”
A pigeon decides to rest and start a family right beside me.
Is it Steve? Is it really?!?
Maybe he got in trouble for being too articulate.
We share that burden.
I used to suffer in silence.
Right up until this blog post.
This observation is proof that blogs are living, breathing entities.
They have the power to influence the writers and audiences.
To inform. Educate. Entertain.
They can serve as a catalyst for social change.
I mull this over.
I certainly see my blog as a public service.
I think of the 4 regular viewers my blog does impact.
I really should be receiving an award for this level of philanthropy.
Commuting blogs should really have their own level of recognition.
I know I’m on to something.
I decide to spend the rest of today’s commute creating a Commuting Blog Awards Program.
What can I call them?
What could be marketable?
How about the CBAS?
A quick google search makes me realize that acronym might be a tad over used.
They coined this acronym at the Cervical Barrier Advancement Society and the much lesser known Canadian Bar Association.
What about The Lidia’s?
I enjoy this title immensely.
Several awards programs are named after people.
But those people are either dead or in the process of dying.
I’m suddenly reminded of the video montage played at the Oscars, where everyone who died the past year is flashed on the screen.
They really should do gunshots, Hunger Games style, but that might cause a fire hazard inside the auditorium and have a few attendees involuntarily join next year’s list.
I don’t need to put that negative chi out in the universe.
Also, I don’t want viewers to think I have a big ego regardless of the amount of irrelevant selfies needed to keep this blog aesthetically pleasing.
I look around the train for inspiration.
All I see are dirt, germs, and despair.
In that order.
If only there was something I could use.
Something that makes sense.
The Golden GOs.
The train screeches to a halt in Oakville.
I take this as a sign of approval.
I almost end up travelling to Clarkson on the wrong train because of it.
Yes! The Golden GOs.
I’m proud of my invention.
What kind of categories would exist?
I think as a pilot project, I need to ensure categories can accommodate the diverse nature of commuting bloggers.
It’s best to keep things generic, you know, to generate healthy competition.
In that light, the inaugural Golden GOs have the following categories:
Most obscure references to 80’s songs and tv shows in a blog allegedly about commuting.
Most likely to burst out in song and dance during the morning commute.
Most creative interpretation of posted policies and procedures at transportation centres.
Most likely to be banned from commuting because of previous category before contract expires.
Most creative interpretation of advertising at transportation centres.
Most creative attempts at introducing new terms and phrases to the blogosphere and thinking people haven’t noticed they aren’t real terms and phrases.
Most irrelevant blog content to blog title for a blog allegedly about commuting.
As these awards are a pilot project, I decide it’s only fair to not have a proper nomination stage and win all of categories.
A clean sweep!
My acceptance speech is both specialized and simple.
I’d like to thank humanity.
And public transit.