Fix the damn door!!!

Typically, my blog titles are playful and pleasing.

I’d like to think my vast audience is intrigued by the opening line, and, much like a full bodied wine, elements of the blog’s title unveil themselves in a slower revealing sense during the actual post.

There’s an intentional element of suspense.

At the end, the blog concludes like a fine dining experience, where one feels impressed, satisfied and wanting more.

That’s what I want you to believe.

That’s what I want to believe myself.

This blog title possesses none of these characteristics.

Much like it’s author, the title is quite literal and not subject to creative interpretation.

In fact, to know me is to understand I would easily substitute wine tasting for wine consumption and fine dining for an all you can eat man versus food type of challenge.

If you read my preceding post, you might recall there was a “door problem” on the train heading towards home which caused a ripple effect of commuting delays.

Last night, as my only blog reader dropped me off at the train station, I recall a conversation that ended with something like “I hope there aren’t any door issues on the way home today!” and a mutual exchange of laughter.

It’s hard being so perfect and amusing ourselves at the expense of everything, but, some of us need to take on a leadership role in this area.

I can assure you our coworkers agree, or they’re too nice to say anything.

I think we’re hilarious.

I digress.

I didn’t realize this comment would provide the element of foreshadowing.


Stupid train.

I walk into the station and notice an abnormal amount of people inside the actual station.

Stupid people.

I look up to the digital screen and see this:

Earlier door problem.


I didn’t realize I was loud enough to draw attention to myself until UPS lady pipes up;

“That’s right! They never fixed the goddamned door!!”

(Side note: I intentionally removed the God part from the blog title out of respect for Jesus being the reason for the season.)

I glare at UPS lady and always appreciate her ability to verbalize my thoughts.

I realize I’ve never formally introduced her as she plays an integral role with my commute.

We’ve taken the same train for a year now, but only recently conversed after sitting across from a Tommy talker who was trying to pick up the customer service rep from his cable provider.

As egotistical extroversion goes, that one conversation has made us friends.

We only ever converse if one of us has a need to express disdain of some sort.

UPS lady is the Steve Buscemi to my Adam Sandler.

She adds subtle value and has exceptional comedic timing.

Why did someone take the time to note the broken door but not actually fix it?

UPS lady adds; “Couldn’t they just remove that one train car, and have one less cabin with all doors that worked?!”

I smile as a visual of a giant claw descending from the heavens picks up the offensive train car like it was some type of micro machine.

I keep staring at the screen: “Nah, that would make sense!”

We both laugh.

A sequence of delays has me arrive home 32 minutes later than my usual schedule.

Then I think.

I get home.

I enjoy home.

I have work to come home from.

I smile.

I got 99 problems and a door is now one of them.



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