This is it! The final installment of “Beware Week” for our happy little tree of a blog.
Or maybe it’s more like a cactus.
Lidz on the Go has definite cactus-like attributes.
There’s no real need for it, it somehow stands out from all of your other boring, desert like literature and then out of nowhere the wit cuts you because it’s sharp and deep.
If you’ve ever had the joy of having remnants of a cactus stuck on you; (glochids for readers still pretending to be educated) you can remove these one of 5 ways, according to the interwebs:
Use glue. Considered the most effective way to remove cactus needles, using white school glue on your skin will help peel out the majority of glochids. ...
Try using tape. …
Use tweezers. …
Try buffing off the needles…
Try using pantyhose. …
I mull this over.
If I were in the middle of a desert and happened to fall into a Cactus, I can’t imagine my first 5 reactions to be;
“Quick! Find me some school glue!”
“Pass me that tape!”
“Search the ground for some tweezers!!!”
“Make yourself useful and find me some sandpaper!!!”
“Hurry! Gimmie your pantyhose!!”
The internet can be an impressive thing.
Yes. That’s what my blog should be. I mean our blog.
I’m trying to incorporate more “team like” pronouns so that people think I care about them and continue to read.
So far it’s working.
This morning I’m up, way up at 3am.
I mean chirp! Just like the birds that are awake at ungodly hours.
You know that expression; “the early bird gets the worm?”
If I’m a bird and wanted a worm, I’d buy it at Walmart just like everyone else.
I digress a lot. Maybe because “Beware Week” is stressful.
Once I arrive the station, I notice a sign that really fits in with our theme:
Similar signage appears on both sides of the pedestrian walkway. Buses pass through regularly.
I have a revolutionary idea; instead of putting up 4 of these signs, how about you fix the damn pavement?!!
I change my mind.
Somehow, this adjustment, at the other side of the station for buses will impact my commute with the train.
I’m not psychic, I just have a feeling about these things.
I realize there are more signs that correlate to a beware theme.
It’s kinda fun how the universe can be so connected.
Inside the station, I’m treated to this outdoor/indoor poster that’s promoting a podcast.
It’s the first sign you see if you’re exiting the trains and headed towards the buses:
Welcome to Hamilton!
Don’t look behind you.
I feel like this title must have been adapted from a self-help manual circa 1994.
That’s when those kinds of books meant something.
They peaked when I was 14.
Lot of people did.
As I board the train, in search of a perfect perch, I see this:
Translation: We don’t always provide salt.
A cautionary sign should not make me think of the Fast & Furious.
And, when exactly has anyone accused commuting of being too Fast?
I just laughed out loud and 3 people glared.
I pointed to Brune and shrugged my shoulders.
Clearly this guy is an amateur.
If you insist on sliding down the stairs, make sure you have humans as cushions.
Once I find my perch, I sit directly in front of a sign which makes me eye level to this:
I can’t think of a more uplifting way to start my morning; questioning my mortality and general existence.
When did this train develop Buddhist tendencies?
Do I believe in reincarnation?
I mull this over.
Yes I do.
In my next life, I want to become a cactus.
School glue, tape, tweezers, sandpaper and pantyhose not required.